


Last One Home

by orphan_account



Category: Homestuck
Genre: Abuse, Character Death, Humanstuck, Multi, Other, Sadstuck, big families, circusstuck, freak shows, maybe non-con, some Dark Wood Circus refs., some underage
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2013-04-04
Updated: 2013-04-22
Packaged: 2017-12-07 11:51:29
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Underage
Chapters: 9
Words: 6,506
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/748209
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>"You gonna be okay....?" My brother asked hesitantly, wiping the blood away.<br/>"Yeah..." Shaking I nodded. "Come on. Lets go home."  I was stupid to have ever left in the first place.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Runaway

**Author's Note:**

> Okay. Just some Background info before you read because some things are a little confusing.  
> Karkat comes from a HUGE FAMILY. The Sufferer is his dad (of course) his mom died during child birth of his younger siblings Dave and Rose (they're twins.) Dirk is the eldest at 23 followed by Kankri at 20, Roxy 18, Karkat 15 and the twins Dave and Rose at 13.
> 
> About the circus it's ran by GHB and the Condesce as his wife and acrobat Feferi is their daughter.
> 
> Originally this was going to be a crossover but, it kinda took off on it's own. ^^; Hope you like. Any artist willing to illistrate message me please.

I guess it starts out just like any other story... It was a normal day, well normal for someone in my occupation, and then life has a way of taking what’s already messed up and completely fucking it over.

“Hey is that Karkat!?” I stiffened, I would know that voice anywhere.

“Oh look it is Karkat! Rose look!” Jade shouted and jumped up.

“Hey Kar!” _Fuck_. It wasn’t long before the whole fucking family was making it’s way to me as I stood handing out flyers.

“Do you know those people?” Kanaya asked in a hushed whisper as she bent in her stilts. I nodded and quickly tried to duck under one of her pant legs, only to be dragged out by my older brother Kankri. Jade and Jane only giggled and passed a high five to Roxy.

“What are you doing? Do you know how offensive this young lady would of found it if you had stood under her like a voyeur?” He started in causing more giggles from the girls.

“Wait. Kankri stop!” Dirk protested shoving him away from me as John and Dave pushed their way through the small crowd. If this day could get any worse I couldn’t see how. “Look guys I can’t stay here I got to get back to work.” I tried to talk my way out of this, some horrible family gathering but, worse thing about my family, no one knows when to drop it.

“What’s so important about handing out papers that you have to leave?” Rose inquired as she crossed her arms.

“Nothing. Fuck. Look I just have to go alright.” I said quickly as John shoved his way up to me. “ I promise I’ll talk to you guys later just. But... I have to go.”

“Karkat!” John cried as I turned to make a run for it and I stopped dead in my tracks. Fuck.... Leave it to the bucktooth wonder to stop me. Looking back I saw all the hurt in his baby blue eyes. _Double fuck..._ “Where did you go?” Shaking my head I ran off. No. Not now. Not ever again. This wasn’t happening. Fuck work I had to get out of there. So I ran, like the last time I saw John. I ran as hard and fast I as could and ended up in the woods, in the shadow of the big top. Just like the last time.


	2. Human

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A first look at Gamzee!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ummm, sorry I forgot to mention this. Karkat's an albino like his dad.  
> Gamzee is a freak.  
> And Kanya does alot of jobs around the circus. Mainly patching up any injuries and costumes but, she does stilt walking and some acrobatics with KK.

“What happened back there, Karkat?” Kanaya asked climbing down from her stilts and sitting beside me. “Those people seemed to know you fairly well.” She asked turning her intelligent jade eyes to me and I had to look away.

“More than know him I’d say. Did you see how many of them had those freeeeeeeeaky red eyes? All the blonde guys did, those two girls had bright pink ones.” Vriska taunted and offered a feral smile from her towering height.

“Vriska!” Kanaya scolded and she just rolled her eyes, mumbling something about FussyFangs as she walked away kicking a cart over in her stilts.

“She’s right though.” I said. “That was my family, every fucking one of them.”

Kanaya smiled. “Quite a large family.” I smiled at that. “Take it all your family shares your traits.” She said gesturing to my pale skin, red eyes and white blonde hair.

“Yeah.... Have you seen Gamzee yet today?” I asked changing the subject, which Kanaya thankfully let drop.

“He’s in his cage as always.... He’s lost a lot of weight Karkat....” She added softly. It wasn’t right the way they treated Gamzee, he was harmless and would probably stay that way if they would stop forcing that sludge on him. I nodded and quickly mumbled a thank you before going off to check on him. My best friend was lying on the floor of his cage staring at the wall across from him, his hands still cuffed behind his back. I winced, the cuffs were way too tight and he had worn them the entire way here. _No one ever came here to check on him....._ Taking a step into the tent that held the cage, I saw Gamzee’s ears flick back.

“What motherfucker is there?” He growled and tried to get up only to rip the thin flesh around his wrists.

“Gamzee stop!” Shouted and ran over to him. “It’s me okay?” I said sticking my hands through the bars and quickly getting him out of the cuffs. Groaning Gamzee sat up rubbing his wrist.

“Thanks Karbro.” He said with a lopsided smile and stuck his wrist in his mouth, closing his eyes as he drank his blood without a second thought. Probably the first thing he had to drink since our last stop.

“You okay?” I asked and he nodded, still pressing his wrist to his lips. It was a lie and I knew it. I could see the way his shirt slid off his thin shoulders and how his pants barely clung to his hips. “They’ve starving you again aren’t they.” Finally lifted his head up to look at me with shockingly deep violet eyes.

“It’s cool bro. They just want this motherfucker to be his best.” Not going to lie. I kinda lost it.

“It’s not fucking ‘cool’ Gamzee! They are starving you! They treat you like shit and you say it’s fucking cool! What the hell is wrong with you?” I screamed at the idiot. I couldn’t understand how he could just forgive them for everything that he was put through. Gamzee just smiled softly and pushed a chain out through the bars.

“Can a motherfucker get his walk on?” Sighing I set up the spike and chain in the center of the tent before heading back to him and reattaching the cuffs.

“Here... I won’t make them so tight okay?” Gamze just nodded and waited for me to unlock his cage. Like most everyone here with the circus I knew all the rules of handling the lanky boy, who unlike everyone else had a strict set of rules to follow. He was never to be left uncuffed or outside his cage without his chain. If he tried to hurt himself he was strapped in straight jacket. If he wasn’t being fed no one was supposed to feed him and so on, not that I listened to most of the rules. “Duck down so I can get this on.” Slipping a dog’s training collar around his neck I unlocked the cage and lead him and hooked the chain to the back of the collar and cuffs. Rolling his shoulders and cracking his neck he grinned.

“ It feels so motherfuckin’ chill to finally stand.” Grinning wildly he ran to the edge of his chain and kicked the cage. “Was all up ta’ be forgettin’ myself in there.” I nodded and sat next to the spike and watched him enjoy what little freedom he had. “Uhhh, Bro?” He asked as I started to doze off.

“What Gamzee?” I snapped. It’s been a few days since I got a decent night’s sleep. I was too worried about this idiot to take care of myself.

“Can a motherfucker get that nurse’sis h‘er. Ain’t feelin too good.”

“When was the last time you ate?”

“‘Bout two days before we left last place... But it ain’t that. It’s my side or some shit...” I looked up at the violet eyed teen.

“How long were you on the floor like that?” I asked only to get a shrug as answer. Pulling up his shirt I gasped and felt my eyes grow wide. There were large red-violet sores along his left side and bloody raw patches were his boney hip had repeatedly rubbed up against the floor. “Fuck Gamzee! How long have these been here!?” He shrugged and sat down next to me.

“Is it that bad..?”

“No.. But this is going to get infected without treatment.” I said and went to go get Kanaya how thankfully was only a tent away and working on costumes. Sighing she grabbed a small bag and headed over to Gamzee.

“Uncuff him please.” She said mildly annoyed at the fact she was interrupted in her preferred work and quickly hiked up his shirt. “Bed sores...” She sighed and reached into her bag dumped a small bottle on the wounds, making Gamzee snarl and flick his ears back again. “Well if you didn’t leave yourself in one spot so long it wouldn’t get like this.” Kanaya snapped but, otherwise kept her normally calm demeanor “Let me see your wrists..” Gamzee growled but, gave her his hands. “At least you managed to keep these clean. Here. Drink this.” She said noting about the red smears across his face.

“Bu-”

“It’s not food so drink. You’ll die of thirst before you’d starve and you need the nutrition.” Casting a worried look around he quickly downed the drink and Kanaya handed him another. “Slow down. You’ll make yourself sick.” Gamzee nodded but, drank about three more bottles before he stopped.

“Thanks Nurse-Sis. A Motherf-” “No need for ‘thank you’s’ now take it easy and try not to do anything stupid.” She said and promptly turned around, I turned to leave too. I had work that I needed to get done and didn’t want to risk Gamzee getting in any trouble.

“Wait!” He shouted as we neared the edge of the tent. “Motherfuckers best wait!” Yelling he ran only to be jerked by the chain, letting loose a cry of pain. Turning back I saw him sprawled out on the ground, staring up at us. For all his deformities, the horns, the claws, the fangs and ears he was still human. A human forced to live the life of animal. “They’re going to drug me again aren’t they?” He asked fearful. “They always starve me so I’ll take it......” He asked looking up at Kanaya. She didn’t answer. Just closed her eyes and walked away, leaving the pitiful boy lying in the dirt.


	3. Watch Over Us

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> We meet Terezi and Fef!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Terezi used to be animal tamer with Nep and Tav but, since she lost her sight she's become a fortune teller and retired her Kimono dragon.

I could tell she was staring at me from behind her glasses as I retold everything that I saw in Gamzee’s tent. “Are you serious Karkakles?” She asked pulling her sunglasses off and looking at me through her burnt out eyes. Terezi and I had a relationship, I guess if you want to call it that, before she got with Gamzee and now, well she left him too, said it was too much for her to handle. “He really drank his own blood?”

“Yeah, it was fucking sick to watch but, he drank it. Kanaya said it isn’t uncommon with someone as malnourished as him but, fuck Terezi, he didn’t even think twice about it.”

“Jesus...” She said and leaned back in her chair, Pyralspite a albino Komodo dragon curled under her feet. “How long do you think they’ve been starving him?” She asked rubbing her forehead just above her eyes.

“He said they always do it for shows. And he doesn’t eat when he’s on that Soper shit so I’d say he hasn’t eaten in almost a month...” I sighed, even though Gamzee claimed he had eaten before we left I knew better, he always lied to protect them.

“I’m sorry Karkakles.” Tezeri said and pulled out her tarot cards and began shuffling them absent-mindedly she was one of the sideshows people came to see after the main show. Terezi ‘Redglare The Seer’ was blind but, could (so she claimed) smell and taste colors and brought in enough profits as a fortune teller to keep the ringmaster off her back. “You get everything done today?” She asked laying out the cards.

“Yeah... Fucking hate the first day in town.” The first day was always crazier than the rest. Everyone in a rush to get publicity out, set up, fix costumes and practice acts. For the losers like me and Equius we’re stuck backstage doing lighting and flyer duty.

“The Parades tomorrow. You going to go?” “ Fuck no. This is my home town.”

Terezi grinned at that. “So you're brother Dave is here?” She laughed, she had always had an interest in my younger brother Dave. Just one of the many reasons we never worked out.

“Don’t waste your time. That nooksucker is practically engaged already.” I snapped and stood to leave.

“If you say so. See ya’ Karkat.”

“Yeah...See ya’” I said and started wandering around the fairgrounds. With all the deep purple and white lights, the music and heavy smells of cheap carrivale food reminded me of when I first ran away here. I could even hear Eridan singing in his tent.

“Karkat!” A bubbly voice shouted and I felt as if I got hit by a truck or, more accurately a 98 and a half pound thirteen year old girl. “Doesn’t it look amazing?!” Feferi cheered tossing back her long dark hair and staring down at me with bright tyrian eyes.

“It would if I could see it.” I Grumbled from under her.

“OH! Sorry I’m just SO EXCITED!” She squealed and hopped off me. “But, It could be better....” She sighed and tucked a strand of her wild hair behind her ear. I looked her over she seemed like her usual self, a happy-go-luck ringmaster’s daughter but, somethig was claerly bothering her.

“Are you okay Fef?” I asked as she shifted from foot to foot and glanced around nervously.

“Um... I’m kinda sneaking out to see someone....” She said quietly and looked around again. “I’m not supposed to visit him but.....” I smiled and opened Eridan’s tent a bit.

“Eridan won’t get in trouble you know.” I said and wondered why she was acting so odd. Her and Eridan spent time together often and even performed together.

“Oh, well it’s not Eridan I’m here to see..... Daddy doesn’t mind it if I visit him. I..wanted to see Gamzee but, I got lost...” She said quietly and suddenly perked up. “You guys are best friends right? You could show his tent!” I facepalmed as she shouted. Even though the idiot had the smallest tent it was the only purple tent besides the big top and it stood out against all the other bright colors.

“Look I’ll show you the way but, keep your voice down!” Hissing I grabbed her hand and lead her behind the animal cages and dropped her off right in front of of Gamzee’s tent. “They’ve been starving him again so if he’s out of it just leave him alone okay? and he starts talking rainbows and the fucking messiah’s get out of there and don’t look back.” I warned and stood outside to keep a lookout.

“Tav?” Gamzee’s distinctive gravelly slur rang out hopefully. “Oh hey sis...”

“Here... I brought you some food.”

“Can’t up and eat it without my hands lil’ sis..... Even if I could they’d all up and beat a motherfucker if they found out.” He sighed and I peaked in on them. Gamzee was turned away staring up at the top of the tent, I sighed. I knew he was looking for the stars he hasn’t seen in years.

“It’s not much Gamzee. Nothing they’d noticed! Just an apple and some bread. Please.... Gamzee eat.” Feferi pleaded and offered the bread to him. Gamzee only kept his eyes on the striped sky that hid the stars.

“You’d better go my wicked sister. The motherfucker’s coming to dose me I can hear him already.” Said ears flicking back. Sighing she climbed into his cage and hid the food under the rags he used to keep warm at night.

“Be safe....” She said softly and brushed the hair out of his eyes, he smiled up at her and kissed her hand.

“The Messiahs watch over us.”


	4. No Show

I turned away. Call me a coward but, I had seen what happens when the ringmaster forced fed Gamzee that Soper drug and I never wanted to see it again. The more the teen fought the more he was forced to eat often times resulting in a overdose. I closed my eyes against that memory, I needed to get ready. Hopefully Gamzee wouldn’t fight back tonight. Kanaya was waiting for me at my tent, ready to help me with me costume and the little makeup I wore. Lining my already bright red eyes with rust tinted makeup and slipping into my red and white costume. Looking over at Kanay as she skillfully made up her face in jade and black before turning to me.

“Is Gamzee going on tonight?” She asked casually enough but, I still couldn’t look her in the face. I was supposed to be protecting him....

“Yeah...” I shivered at the thought and tried to force the thought out of my head. Taking my place backstage I sighed and listened to the ringmaster announce the acts.

“Ladies and Gentlemen! I welcome you to the one and only DARK CIRCUS!” The ringmaster roared and without a second thought Kanya and I started cartwheeling and doing tumbling flips followed by the rest of the ‘normies’ of the circus, like Vriska, Equius and Feferi, Vriska (big shock) wasn’t there. At the end of our routine we watched the a slit in the tent as the rest of the acts paraded their way out, the Ringmaster grinned from behind the painted goat skull he wore.

“Gaze upon the forsaken children, unable to carry the limbs they were born with!” He continued as the freaks made their way out.

“THE DEFORMED DIVA!” The crowd gasped as Eridan stumbled his way forward, his brilliant fuchsia fins and scales flashed under the spotlights and his elegant costume was slit to show off his real deformity; a set finned legs that bent backwards and a long tail. He smiled like a prince and sung a sweet melody.

“THE TWO HEADED MAN!” Sollux got almost as big as a reaction as Eridan as he stood tall. One of his heads grinning brightly and waving while the other looked empty and just waited to leave. I looked around for Aradia who often walked out with Sollux but, couldn’t see her. Casting a worried glance at Kanaya who looked twice as worried as the ringmaster went on without missing a beat.

“Now! For your veiwing pleasure. THE BEAST!” The ringmaster roared as his wife drug Gamzee out on a chain and the crowd cringed. Gamzee was already coming down from his high and stood in his chains and straight jacket grinning wildly and giggling hysterically. I felt my stomach turn as they brought out a small table and set a plate on it. This was the worst part of the show... they starved Gamzee for weeks so he’d take the Soper, even though he knew what it does to him and do this!

“Karkat....?” Kanaya asked hesitantly as I was unable to tear myself away from the horrifying scene. Usually they feed Gamzee half rotten animals or roadkill but, there was body parts strewn on the plate. Human arms and a legs even an eye! I couldn’t help it I was on the ground retching before Gamzee had finished the eye. “Karkat you should go....” Kanaya whispered patting my back and I just shook my head.

“No. I should stay. Fuck!” I managed before I got sick again Kanaya huffed and drug me away to see her. The ringmaster’s wife was as beautiful as anyone woman could ever hope to be, long pitch black hair and deep tyrian eyes but, when it came to cruelty there was no one worse.

“Excuse me.” Kanaya said politely.

“My partner seems to have gotten sick and my back up seems to have gone missing, would you do me the honor of performing with me?” She asked trying to play to the circus queen’s ego. “Neither of ya’ are goin’ on stage ta’night. Need you fuckers in the med tent.” She said simply and walked away _. Fuck...._


	5. Worse

Remember how I started the day? How I couldn’t imagine how it could possibly get any worse....? Well there’s a reason why people should never even think that because the moment you do everything goes to hell. Standing in the med tent with Kanaya was one of the worst possible thing I had ever seen. Apparently there had been a huge fight back stage before the show and now I was witnessing the aftermath. Apparently Vriska and Tavros had gotten into a fight, when things started to get physical Terezi tried to intervene. Vriska had to have her eye and one of her arms removed after Pyralspite had attack her, Aradia was found dead shortly afterwards and Tavros had both his legs broken and then later removed.

“Where’th Aradia?” Sollux shouted running into the tent. Everyone kept quiet and Kanaya made her way over to him after finishing up Vriska’s bandages. Sollux’s ice blue and red-brown eyes darted around frantically while his second head closed it’s eyes and silently wept when it saw the look on Kanaya’s face. “What'th wrong?”

“Equius is bringing her back here....She...She”

“She fucking hung herself like the loser she is.” Vriska snapped.

“VRISKA!” Kanaya scolded but, couldn’t do much. Looking over at my good friend he just shook his main head as the other one whined lowly.

“No. I juth thaw her before the sthow! sthe wath fine!” Sollux shook his head.

“You don’t believe me freak? Just look for yourself. She’s still there.” Vriska taunted from her bed.

“Shut up Vriska!” I shouted and she just rolled her perfectly blue eyes.

“I’m sorry Sollux. Truly I am....” Kanaya said softly as the poor two headed boy turned to leave.

“You’re a fucking bitch!” Terezi’s shrill voice snarled from behind her red glasses. Vriska just pretended not to hear her. “I know what you did! You killed Aradia just like you tried to kill me last time we stopped you from hurting Tavros.”

“Oh, come oooooooon! Like I could make her hang herself. Besides aren’t you the one with the hanging fetish?” Vriska flashed a feral smile a I saw Tavros dip his head. The two sisters argued back and forth until Equius brought in the body. I felt sick again as my eyes locked onto the bloody stubs where Aradia’s arms should have been. _Gamzee......_ Terezi seemed to be the first to recover from the shock and turned to her elder sister.

“I’ll make you pay for what you did.” She hissed and left, Kanaya following behind her trying to do damage control.

“Karkat.” Equius greeted me, his voice sounded strained as he laid Aradia on the nearest bed. Aside from the ragged stumps of her arms she looked peaceful, almost as she could be asleep.

“I’m s-s-sorry!” Tavros screamed burying his face in his arms. Equius and I turned to look at him. “It’s.. It’s all my fault! I’m so sorry..... I’m sorry. I should’ve never tried to leave Vriska! B-but I....I. I couldn’t ta-”

“It’s okay Tavros....” I offered the sobbing teen. “No one blames you, we all know how Vriska can be.” Tavros just shook his head.

“Karkat....” I turned to Equius who was clearly in mourning. “Perhaps we should take him to see the outcast.... They seem to calm each other down.” I nodded. It seemed like everyone could use some calming down after something like this.

“Yeah..” I nodded and gently nudged Tavros with my foot. “Hey....” He looked a little shocked to see me still there. “Come on. Lets go see Gamzee.” I offered as I carefully scooped him up. Nodding he grabbed on and allowed himself to be carried off.

“Karkat....?” The younger teen sniffled and I looked down at him. “Just, uh, thanks.....for, you know...” I gave him a soft smile.

“Don’t mention it... Look Gamzee’s going to be crashing pretty soon so I’m going to have to go in there with you.....” Tavros usually let himself into Gamzee’s tent whenever he got the chance but, I didn’t want to risk anymore injuries tonight. Nodding I carefully set Tavros down just outside the reach of the chain. “Gamzee?”

“Motherfuck!” He growled and stumbled out his cage. “Why are all these motherfuckers gotta be being so motherfuckin’ LOUD!” He whimpered and shaking his head and sending a pitiful glance around.

“h-Hey Gamzee....” Tavros said from his place on the ground, Gamzee’s eyes went wide as he took in the state of his friend.

“Tav....?” He asked his ears flicked downwards and he sat on the ground, shaking his head and growling. “What sort of unmiraculous shit up’nd did this to my wicked motherfucker?” He asked gently butting his head to Tavros’s.

“Oh, I uh....St-st-Stepped on Pyralspite and uh.....he didn’t, take it well... The bites got um, r-Really infected so, they had to....” He lied looking away from Gamzee’s intense stare. Groaning and snarling Gamzee shook his head again, causing the freckled teen to wince as the base of his were grinded into his forehead. “If motherfuckers would be quiet this fucker could think!” He growled shaking and I shot a glance at Tavros. Don’t do anything stupid. He nodded.

“Gamzee. The voices aren’t, uh, aren’t real.... they’re just in your head.” Opening his eyes again he stared the smaller teen down. “I know....They’re just so motherfucking loud.....”

Walking over to Gamzee’s cage I pulled out the food Fef had hidden away and carefully passed it to Tav. “Get him to eat.... Tell him it might help with the noise.” I whispered and took my seat back by the stake. Tavros carefully pulled away and offered the food.

“Here...” He started. “It could help...quiet things....” Sighing Gamzee leaned forward and took a bit out of the apple, too hungry or stoned to really care about the consequences. After eating about half the apple Gamzee leaned back and stared up at his striped sky.

“Did you see them?” He asked closing his eyes. Sending a glance over at Tavros I mouthed ‘See what?’. He just smiled and turned his attention back to the horned boy.

“Yeah.... Aries and Taurus are flying high. To bad Capricorn won’t uh, be out ‘til the end of the s-Season....” The dust colored teen smiled sadly and looked up at the top of the tent. Gamzee smiled, but kept quietly growling.

“What’d it look like?” Opening his eyes again he glared at the tent, as if trying to see the things Tavros described with his faltering stutter. The two went on like that for while with having to listen to their stupid fucking raps about the stars and night all the while Gamzee’s flushing under the dirt and bruises on his face and Tavros is too stupid to notice.

“Hey asswads.” I started making Gamzee growl. “It’s about lights out.” Bending to pick the now crippled teen off from the ground I felt something latch onto my pant leg. Snarling Gamzee glared up at me from behind his clouded indigo eyes, ears pressed flat against his skull. “C’mon Gamzee. It’s not fucking safe to leave you two alone. That fuckass of a ringmaster would have you both now let go!” I snapped at him but, he only growled louder until Tavros gently pushed back on his horns.

“Gamz.... It’s okay. I’ll be back tomorrow o-Okay? Uh, Listen to Karkat and um.... try t-T-to eat.” Nodding and flushing brightly Gamzee let go and watched us as I carried Tavros out, waiting for me to come back and put him back in his cage. When came back he was laying down staring up at wear the sky should be.


	6. Concern

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Just a filler before a POV change.

~tentacleTherapist [TT] Began pestering turntechGodhead [TG]~

TT: Dave?  
TT: Dave are you still awake?

TG: seriously rose? we’re like foot away from each other and you’re messaging me. you know i could hear you through the wall right?

TT: I know. It’s just I don’t want really want Roxey or Jade to hear me.

TG: oh, yeah you guys did the whole sleepover thing. how’d that go anyway.

TT: Fine. However John and I snuck out about an hour ago.

TG: really, where'd you go?

TT: We went to see the circus Karkat’s flyers mentioned. It was... Disturbing to say the least.

TG: oh shit really? what happened?

TT: The had a young boy eating corpses.

TG: damn....  
TG: what’d John say?

TT: Nothing. He took off the moment they started bringing the cannibal out.

TG: and Karkat works there?

TT: It would appear so.  
TT: I don’t like this......  
TT: Something is ‘off’ about that place.

TG: we’ll check in on Karkat ok?  
TG: he chose to run away there's not much we can do.

TT: I know. I just hope he’s okay.

~tentacleTherapist [TT] Ceased pestering turntechGodhead [TG]~


	7. As Long as There's Stars

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Gamzee POV.  
>  and Grand Highblood as you've never seen him.  
> (Also some explanation to Gamzee's obsession with stars.

_Be quiet. Don’t speak unless spoken to...._ Don’t fight ‘em to much. Staring up at the ringmaster who grinned and sat outside the bars, tossing something back and forth. The woman’s with him too, motherfuckin’ old hag. Bitch was the one who locked me here. I just want out, I just want ta see the stars _..... Messiahs watch over us._ Thats what she said right? Why is it so motherfuckin’ hard to think? It’s quiet but, quiet’s louder than all tha’ sick noise in my pan. Messiahs watch.... Watch what? I’m so tired.

“-Stain?” The painted fucker said, not that I could really hear him.

“What...?”

“He ask’d ‘ow yer doin’ fucka.” The bitch sneered and poked something sharp through the cage. I wanted ta bite, ta hiss and snarl at the motherfuckin’ cunt but, tha’d mean more drugs. More voices. More beatin’s and less food. Bitin’ down on my lip ta keep quite as I felt somethin’ warm runin’ down my side.

“I’m all up’nd bein’ chill.” I mumbled even as shit went fuzzy and started movin’. “Dizzy.” I wanted ta be strong, ta fight and claw at ‘em, I wanted ta hate them but, I couldn’t.....

“Connie....” The ringmaster’s voice changed from the rough bark to somethin’ different. Was it like tha’ before...? A long time ago maybe.... before all the chains. Before the voices and drugs. Before striped skies, back when the Messiahs ruled the black. _The Messiahs watch over us..._ “....Get hi....” The voices faded in and out, couldn’t hear much, even with the wicked ears I had.

“Gamzee....Gamzee can you still hear me?” Noddin’ I slouched over abit everything was hazy. Ringmaster was quick unlock the cage and get a fucker outta all those chains. “C’mon lil’ motherfuker. Get out of those rags...” Standing as he pulled off my shirt I looked up at him, a motherfucker stood at eight feet, wild hair and deep indigo eyes..... _Messiahs watch over us...._ Who said it first?

“Messiahs watch over us...” I mumbled as he helped me out of my pants. Lookin’ over at me his eyes softened.

“Yes. They watch over us....” He shooshed, pickin’ me up. “As long as there are motherfuckin’ stars in that sky, they watch over us.” He said whisperin’ now, as he set me down in a lil’ wash tub.

“Daddy....?” A sweet voice rang out. “Feferi..? What are you doing here.” He tried his best ta keep his calm but, it was clear he wanted ta scream at my wicked sister. Rushin’ over with a basket full of food and fresh clothes she smiled and fished somethin’ outta her pockets.

“Sorry...” She mumbled, not really sorry at all. “But, mom said she ‘ain’t takin’ no part of tha’ shit.’ and told me to come instead...” She rattled off as she finally found what she was searchin’ for and handed it over ta the Ringmaster, who mumbled somethin’ before he dumped the bottle on my sides. I cried, tha shit burned and made me realize every motherfuckin’ cut or scrape I had.

“Hurts....” Without thinkin’ I grabbed onta tha big ass motherfucker. “Dad it hurts!” Buryin’ my face inta his chest as I sobbed like a wriggler in his arms.

“Fef, you should go back to bed.” He said, still calm but, with ‘nough growl ta keep her from arguin’. Fef sighed a quick ‘good night’ before headin’ back ta her tent. Turnin’ back ta me he sighed and picked up a rag and carefully dabbed at the bed sores and stab wounds. “I know Gamzee, I know my motherfuckin’ lil’ Subjugator.” He hushed as he bandaged the worst of them.

“Why don’t she like me?!” I screamed at him as he tried washin’ the dirt offa my face. “Why? Why can’t I go outside anymore!?.....What’d I do wrong...?” I cried and glared up at him through my tears. Chucklin’ he dried me off and let me dress myself, I still felt dizzy so I just sat on the edge of my cage while he looked me over.

“Can’t motherfuckin’ say I know....Guess it’s ‘cause you look too much like yer old man.” He laughed again, a sick sound that died in his throat. Smilin’ behind his paint he motioned ta come over, before pullin’ me inta his lap.

“I miss Fef and Loz.” I sniffled and he butt his head to mine as he held me tighter. I was startin’ ta get dizzy and tired again as he hummed _As Long as the Stars Shine_. The rough lullaby rumbled low in his throat. “Stay.....?” I begged.

“For a bit.... _As long as they shine above us, Our Messiahs watch over us_... Remember that Gamzee, the Messiahs watch over us. As long as there’s stars.” That was the last thin’ I heard before I fell asleep. When I woke up the chains were back on, what little food they gave me was either hidden or gone and dad was the Ringmaster again. Lookin’ up at the tent-top,my private striped sky, I felt somethin’ inside break.

“There are no stars here....”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> As Long As The Stars Shine is a church song for Gamzee's, Fef's and GHB's Religion.


	8. Gift

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Gamzee gets a gift.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> There was a chapter that goes before this but, I didn't come out right at all so have this one early (the other chp wasn't too important anyways) I may add it later once it's been reworked but, in the meantime enjoy ^^

Growlin’ and readjustin’ my chains the best a motherfucker could without hands I sat up and listened ta’ the sound of early day life. I could hear Fishbro demandin’ somethin’ and Nuresis and spiderbitch arguin’ away in hushed voices. Every motherfucker has somethin’ ta be doin’ with. Sighin’ I stared up at the stripes, motherfuckin’ orange and indigo. Wasn’t nothin’ better ta do. Sleepin’ ment more bed sores, couldn’t get my walk on with a locked cage. Hopefully Karbro’d be here soon. Kar was my best motherfuckin’ bro. We didn’t meet ‘til after I was all chained and caged but, tha’ didn’t change thin’s. We talked through the web and when some unmiraculous shit went down he came here....

 _Why would a motherfucker run here....?_ Didn’t matter. Things were less lonely with tha’ bossy lil’ fucker ‘round. Tavvy’d visit but, once tha’ bitch got ‘hold of ‘im he was never ‘round anymore.... With a growl at that thought I slamed my head back, only ta get my horns stuck in the bars. _Motherfucker_!

“What the fuck did you do now?” Kar’s voice rang out. Tryin’ ta turn I felt a grin spread across my face. The motherfucker brought gifts.

“HeYy Karbro. What sorts of miracle ya got in there?” I asked as he, carefully helped me free, his red eye looked ‘round, probably lookin’ for the big man. Shruggin’ as he unlocked the door and the chains. “Bro...?” “Those fuckers finally got some sense into them.” He growled and handed me the boxes.

“They said you can walk around now, just don’t leave the grounds and you have to be back in the chains before dark.” I snarled at the last bit, ‘course tha’ bitch wouldn’t let me out after dark. There no stars here remember...? Yeah, I motherfuckin’ know. “Thats motherfuckin’ wicked bro!” Grinnin’ I opened the boxes. Some food, well cat food, and clothes. Frowin’ I opened the second box. _Paint....?_ Lookin’ over the set I felt a smile creep ‘cross my face and stuffed the note in my pocket.

“What the fuck is that shit?” Karbro crinkled his nose as he leaned over to get a better look. Grinnin’ I took out the white and grey bottles and quickly smeared them on, gainin’ a frown from my best bro. “You look like and idiot you assclown.” “Hahaha. Guess tha’ shit don’t motherfuckin’ look right then?” I laughed before getting up.

“C’mon lets see if Nursesis can help.” Strechin’ I took off, Kar hollerin’ after, not that I really cared. I was out! For the first time since I turned thirteen I was free! Free of the motherfuckin’ chains, bars, free of everything. At least for a little while.


	9. Coward

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Back KK's POV

Watching Gamzee laugh as he clumsily ran through the fairgrounds was on of the best things I had seen in a long time. The others stop and stared shocked to see the freak free and the sloppily applied face paint didn’t help the idiot as he grabbed people at random and tugged the into a haphazard dance (Thankfully Nepeta and Equius are good sports) singing Praise the Messiahs in his rough slurring voice. Even I couldn’t help but laugh at the sight and had to do my best to keep a grin hidden the entire time Kanaya spent fixing Gamzee’s makeup lecturing him on how to do it properly, while he was too busy grinning like a fool to really listen.

“Hey fuckass!” I shouted over to him as he took off again. “Goddamit Gamzee wait!” By the time I caught up to him he was frozen in his tracks. “Gamzee! Gamzee hello? Can you hear me you assclown?” Flicking his ears down, he just shook his head, a low whimper caught in his throat. Looking around I saw what had caused him to freeze up. Connie, the ringmasters wife stood not to far away scolding Feferi for something.

“Come on Gamzee....” I said, trying to pull him away from there. He just growled and shrugged me off.

“Motherfuckin’ bitch is up ta’ some unmiraclous shit...” He snarled and made his way over to them.

“What did you do?!” Connie hissed, pulling Feferi close as she tried to jerk away. “Don’t think I don’t know you’ve been sneaking out. Now what the fuck did you do?!” She roared into young girl’s sniffling face.

“Leave her alone.” Gamzee said in a tight voice.

“Excuse me?” The elder of the two girls growled, taking a step forward, allowing the other to escape.

“I said. You MOTHERFUCKIN’ best be LEAVIN’ HER ALONE!” Gamzee screamed into her face. “You ungrat-”

“Sorry! Sorry ma'am!” I quickly sputtered out stepping in between the two. “You know how he gets when when the Soper wears off.” The lead acrobat narrowed her dark tyrian eyes before smiling and tossing her long hair back. “Heheh.” She smiled. “Yea’ I guess I forget how dits fucka is without his meds.” Reaching down and grabbing Gamzee by the horns, she started off.

“Maybe I’ll just give ‘im some more.” Gamzee’s Indigo eyes grew wide as hear caught the last bit.

“Karkat...?” He asked as she pulled him away. _I’m sorry Gamzee..._ Sorry I’m such a coward.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry if this didn't make much sense..... I'm working on the chapter were Fef started trouble (not really but yeah)


End file.
